life lately.

On top of the new mom insanity, of course my computer breaks down.

It's a hardware issue so we took it to the Apple store to get it checked out but it'll probably cost more than half of a new Macbook to fix... 

They were able to "revive" it temporarily, but if it dies again, it'll be time for a new one...!

Excitement about a new Macbook is mixed with panic over the idea of that kind of expenditure at a time like this. 

In the meantime, the Bean continues to get bigger and more amazing each day. 

We've gotten over the stage where it just felt like surviving "sheer madness" and I'm able to really enjoy her, and being a mom.

It still feels surreal sometimes, and I look at her and think

"holy sh*t I have a BABY?!" 

but that's normal... right?

Did I already mention how bittersweet it is that she's already getting "big" so fast?

Don't grow up too quickly Jellybean :)

and then there were three.

I'm back.

I know it's been a while since my last post - a month plus a few days to be exact, but it's been a whirlwind of a time.

2 days after my previous entry, my very dear friend "Westy" threw me a baby shower.

It was a great time, but maybe a little too much excitement for me.

That night I went back to the hospital and was admitted thanks to my exacerbated preeclampsia symptoms.

To get to the point, I stayed on the high risk unit for 3 days, waiting for the Bean to be a full 37 weeks, 

and she came on June 5.

3 weeks early but perfectly healthy and amazing.

I wish I could have posted the happy news sooner, but I spent the next 12 days in a pain and drug induced haze.  There were lucid moments, but a lot of it is a blur, and I won't go into details here.

The "cliff notes" version is that I had some rather serious complications as a result of the labour and delivery, which kept me in the hospital for the extra time.  

The nurses pointed out that they always see the most well behaved babies with the sickest moms, and our Bean proved the theory to be quite true.  She never fussed, and stayed quietly with me, which was very emotional (even more so with the crazy post pregnancy hormones) when I was unable to feed or even hold her.

But fast forward, we've since come home, I'm slowly but surely recovering, and our little lady turns one month old today.

As so many new parents say, the last 4 weeks flew by in a whirlwind.

We continue to be amazed at the new things that she can do every day, and for me, it's a mixed feeling of happiness and excitement towards the future, and a little bit of sadness that she's already growing up too fast.

By the time I post this, it'll already be the 6th.  Feeding and changing time takes precedence over all else now, and I'm still trying to adjust to it all, but I hope to continue writing as often as she'll let me!

cabin fever.

I'm certainly glad to be on leave, and I'd rather be sitting at home than at work, but being cooped up in the house is starting to drive me a little crazy (crazier than usual).  

Because of the hypertension and swelling (not to mention the usual end of pregnancy symptoms) the most I do in a day is some house work and little walks.

Although I have a feeling that I may reflect back on this time fondly in a few months when I'm up to my eyeballs in diaper changes and feedings...

Aaanyways, 

I found a cookie recipe that intrigued me, and since I had all of the ingredients sitting in my pantry, I made some today.

Instead of regular softened or melted butter, this one called for browned butter.  I think it was a great idea, I could smell the nutty browned butter even as I was mixing the ingredients.  

I also used chopped dark chocolate (because I prefer it to chocolate chips), and chopped dry roasted  almonds (because I had them in the pantry - and for textural contrast).

I personally prefer oatmeal raisin over chocolate, but I'd say these turned out pretty well.

A definite repeat recipe.

A little bed time snack anyone?

just the two of us.

Just came home from another hospital visit.
Everything was okay for today, and the Bean was/is jumping around as usual.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Toronto has been getting some pretty fantastic weather, and we're trying to enjoy the few weekends we have left before we become a family of three.

Getting a desperately needed pedicure on my fat little piggies.
Learning how the car seat works (good thing that one of us has had car seat training).
Having a relaxing dinner (Shaun was happier, contrary to that picture).

I wonder how many more weekends we'll have, just the two of us.
We don't do much, since I get so easily tired and end up like this:

But what little outings we do have are really nice, and I'm trying to appreciate it
as much as possible.

Wishing everyone a good week!

victoria day weekend.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

(a 4 day week for my Canadian peeps)

I've been slacking off a bit in the blogging department, but it's been a pretty tiring week with the ongoing back and forth from the hospital.

So I know I'm a little delayed but I'll reminisce about the Victoria Day weekend. 

We didn't do much, but the weather was amazing and a dear friend came in all the way from India so we had a BBQ!

I couldn't contribute much but I made deviled eggs.
I do enjoy deviled eggs... and they're so easy to make.

It was a great day.

Don't mind that my feet/legs looked like this.

(& this isn't even THAT swollen)

I know that no one wants to see my swollen, sans-pedicured, cankled, chubs that were previously my feet.  It's just a record for myself.  So I can look back on these times "fondly".  

a weekend treat.

Sometimes you just need a good treat. 

Especially on a beautiful long weekend like this.

We don't usually buy desserts, but on rare occasions, the cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe are pretty fantastic.  On Friday, I was in the area and it was just calling to me.

I bought the cookie dough for Shaun and a lemon drop for myself, with full intentions to wait until he got home from work...

...I was not quite successful.

Shaun came home 5 minutes later (I was so close!) and inhaled his too.

Hope everyone is having a happy and safe weekend!

*Thank you to my friends and family for the messages and support about my previous posting! I'm still back and forth from the hospital since my blood pressure doesn't seem to want to stabilize, but the bean is doing just fine. xo

just going with the flow.

(If this is your first visit, get to know US!)

I was scheduled to work until the end of May, but that unexpectedly ended on Tuesday.

So far in my pregnancy, I had been experiencing some dizziness and near-fainting spells thanks to my pre-existing tendency for low blood pressure and blood sugar.  

At one point, the dizziness got too frequent and I had to get some tests done.

Not so fun times.  

Especially after those electrodes came off.  Oh those welts... where they ever itchy.

So when I started to get some significant swelling in my hands, arms, feet, legs (sometimes face!), I figured it was just part of "the joys of pregnancy" (although I did get some fierce cankles...)  Even when I started getting blurred vision along with some other symptoms, I wasn't too worried.

Fast forward to Tuesday when I went for my scheduled appointment, my doctor looked slightly concerned when he realized that I had gained nearly 8lbs (holy crap!) in 2 weeks.  And slightly more concerned when he took my blood pressure.  Then slightly more concerned when I said "yes" to all of the questions of "nausea?" "headache?" "rib cage pain?" "swelling?" "blurred vision?".

He told me not to be too worried, but that I may have pre-eclampsia and he was sending me for more tests.  He also explained the possible outcomes, including immediate delivery, or hospitalization for monitoring, but also that I could go home if things seem to calm down.  Regardless of the scenario though, I had just finished my last work day.
At 34 and 1/2 weeks, the likelihood of Jellybean born perfectly healthy is quite high, so I tried not to worry too much, but it certainly wasn't the outcome I was expecting from my scheduled prenatal visit.  

Meanwhile, the type-A in me was madly running the logistics of everything in my head:

"What about work?"

"I have no hospital bag ready!"

"We don't have enough clothes for the bean!"

"We don't even have the bassinet set up!"

"and I haven't washed any of the bean's clothes!"

and on and on...

Shaun came to the hospital right away, and after 6+ hours, the test results were okay enough for me to go home for now (phew!).  More importantly, Jellybean is doing perfectly well and we got to see her kicking around on the ultrasound (double phew!).

I'll be visiting the hospital quite frequently from now on, with the possibility that Jellybean may make her entrance at any point.

We're trying not to be too worried.  It is what it is, and I think it's worse to fret too much - especially when I'm trying to keep my blood pressure stable. 

Just going with the flow, and enjoying whatever time I have left of preggo life.

Needless to say though, I washed Jellybean's clothes and bedding yesterday.

And bought some supplies to pack a hospital bag.

We're ready (as we can be) for you Jellybean!

But we'll try to keep you in there for a little longer so that you can cook some more...